Mark McHugh

Douchebag Proud of Wasting 35 Years! (it’s the New American Way)

In Open Thread on Tuesday, November 30, 2010 at 8:25 pm

Every once in a while, a commercial so obnoxious comes along I just can’t ignore it.  I feel compelled to transcribe this one from Exxon Mobil:

It was 1975.   My professor at Berkley asked me if I wanted to change the world.  I said, “Sure!”  “Let’s grow some algae.”  And that’s what started it.  Exxon Mobil and Synthetic Genomics have built a new facility to identify the most productive strains of algae.  Algae are amazing little critters.  They secrete oil, which we could turn into biofuels.  They also absorb CO2.  We’re hoping to supplement the fuels that we use in our vehicles and to do this on a large enough scale to someday help meet the world’s energy demands.

To recap, that’s 35 years – Umpteen million dollars –  Zero results.   Good thing we didn’t have guys like him on the Manhattan project.

There’s been a paradigm shift here in America all right.  “Changing the World” has become a euphemism for “Wasting your life.”   Worse yet, Scientist Joe has the audacity to suggest that provided people keep pissing money in his direction, he just might be able to help a little.  The other thing you can’t deny is had he not found this gig,  Joe would most certainly have found gainful (for him) employment with the US Government.  Same results, of course.

Remember this lazy, self-important  dick the next time Larry Kudlow tries to sell you that the Chinese are hacking our computers to steal all our super-secret secrets.  I don’t doubt that the Chinese hack our computers, but I really think they’re doing it for laughs, not knowledge.  Unless the Chinese are interested in knowing things like:

  • How to not stop a leaky pipe at the bottom of the ocean.
  • Why Boeing can’t get the Dreamliner out of the hangar after more than 3 fucking years of delays.
  • How to milk construction jobs for years (they built  a 15 story building in 6 days)
  • Why we haven’t executed Hank Paulson for treason yet.
  • Or how somebody like Joe Weissman thrives in America.

Guess where the World’s fastest maglev train is?  It was built with German Technology.   Now look where your computer, your high-def TV, and all your kid’s toys (most of which, be honest, you have no idea how they work) were made, and tell me that you believe we know things they don’t.  You’re an idiot if you believe that and what’s worse,  you’re a conceited idiot.

Or would you prefer to bitch about how those sneaky chinks manipulate their currency by, get this,  pegging it to ours?  Pull up any Forex chart you want and tell me what that shit’s supposed to be.  It’s more manipulation than market and I applaud any country that thumbs it nose at that pro wrestling casino.  It shows that they care about their country and their people.

Feeling good about doing bad – Welcome to your new normal, America.

  1. Those things are by design Mark, hell, most of this stuff we invented like the transistor, and then just give it to someone else to exploit.

    Americans did not want them tiny radios don’t you know… Or cars with good gas mileage.

  2. I wonder what you originally said about him… “Remember this lazy, self-important dick the next time” …for me an accidental double space usually means serious edits.

    He looks so proud, yet harmless… so did you feel sorry for insulting his smiling face?

    He looks so proud …one of our clueless pilots into oblivion.

    Oh dour day for me, I apologize… but it is Black Friday II.

  3. Originally it was just “lazy dick”, but then I felt it was mean to lazy people (there are many lazy people who aren’t dicks). What makes this guy such a dick is that he seems convinced what he does is important (changing the world and all…) so I added the self-important part. Keen observation.

    I’m not judging the potential of Algae, mind you. I’m not qualified to do so. Here’s the thing: It shouldn’t take very long to figure out whether or not something’s viable. If it’s viable – make it work, if not – let it go…..

    Here’s a little story from my own life:
    A year ago, I got interest in small wind turbine technology. I was able to build a model that was working pretty well. So I started thinking about how I could get power out of it. I decided it should be DC, to charge batteries etc. I also decided that a ceiling fan would be a good thing to use as a generator (an electric motor is the same as a generator – you turn the motor to make electricity).

    I found an RV ceiling fan that would do the trick, but then I found the piece that stopped me dead in my track. At top speed, the fan consumed 26 Watts….so even if I could get the turbine I built spinning a top speed with 100% efficiency (impossible), I’d need to make about a hundred of them to power my home. Not viable here in my world, at this time….I wasted less than a month before facing reality.

    It took 6 years from Hiroshima to the development of nuclear power, and from the first tests, scientist knew that potential was there. My point is: we should know whether or not algae is viable by now.

    So to answer your question – no, I don’t feel bad about insulting his smiling face…..

  4. Solar, 460W for 2 Gs…

    And I don’t feel bad that you insulted him… but what about all of these potential algae cultivators, do you feel sorry for them? They “just don’t get it” …

  5. Solar’s better…..but 460 watts isn’t much and don’t forget that’s only during daylight hours.

    On to your second question. I really don’t look at people as “Employed” vs. “Unemployed.” I see everyone as wards of the state to one degree or another. You may get up early and shuffle off to a job for a defense contractor, so your salary is paid by the government. Or maybe you ‘work” for the SEC, the FBI, the TSA or a Wall Street job. No matter how nice of a suit you wear you’re a bum to me, slurping off what’s left of America and making the ultra-rich ultra-richer. The funny part is all those people (like scientist Joe) don’t see their existences as unproductive and unnecessary , but I sure do.

    The come home from their government-subsidized jobs and write the check for their government-susidized mortgage. They’re OK with all of this. They’re OK that we export every job we can and they think they’re productive citizens. Bullshit. The wierd part is all these parasites who truly have drained the wealth of America hate the idea of “hand-outs.” Their entire existence is based on a concept they claim to despise.

    My point here is the “employed” parasites cost us a whole lot more than the “unemployed” ones. I’m totally OK with stopping unemployment on a couple conditions:
    1) Get the government completely out of the housing market. Sure, this will cut house prices by over 50%, and yes, if you don’t pay your mortgage off in full, you get kicked to the curb.
    2) Freeze the debt ceiling. The government spends $1.80 for every dollar it collects in taxes. No more borrowing, period. Pay as you go.

    Of course, Americans will never, ever, ever, ever, agree to this, because it would mean confronting just how many of us are really welfare cases. And if we’re not willing to do that, it’s very, very unfair to cut off other people’s access to free money.

    And just a reminder, the rate of new US government debt is still running at $500 per person per month, and $9 of that is unemployment benefits. Why isn’t anyone concerned about the other $491????

  6. THANK YOU!!!!
    My blood boils every time I hear this old Marxist Hippie start puking the key words words “1975, Berkeley, Professor, wanna change the world”.
    I’m surprised it didn’t end up in bombing a Police Station, or Court building.
    Although that would have been probably less damaging than 35 years of fucking with slime while our gas prices go up because oil companies are actually wasting their time & money fuckin with this moronic shit head.
    Here’s a noble idea- jail everyone who spread the proven lie of Global Warming & do something useful- like stick a straw in the ground here in America & suck some fucking oil out of it & let’s stop funding the next fucking September 11’th.
    So glad I found this article.
    THANK YOU again for writing it.
    This made my day.
    I shared it on FB btw…

  7. Interesting: if one used to be a Hippie, one was a Marxist…and here I thought I just liked Hippie girls…

    Anyway, I have seen this commercial myself…and thought: “WTF? This is EXISTING TECHNOLOGY ongoing right now!”

    I saw a documentary of some French coal power plant years ago, over a decade at least, where they had placed caps on the exhaust stacks, piped the exhaust into ponds growing algae, then were skimming the oil and using it to fuel the vehicles the power company has in that area. In other words, using the coal twice.

    And this guy has spent 35 years “researching” and DOESN’T KNOW THIS???
    Bullshit. He’s almost as ignorant as this asshole:

    “My blood boils every time I hear this old Marxist Hippie start puking the key words words “1975, Berkeley, Professor, wanna change the world”.
    I’m surprised it didn’t end up in bombing a Police Station, or Court building.
    Although that would have been probably less damaging than 35 years of fucking with slime while our gas prices go up because oil companies are actually wasting their time & money fuckin with this moronic shit head.”

    Yeah, “wasting time” you chucklehead. Those “Hippies” were brave enough to fight fascist cops the brain-addled Guv Reagan had sent, and were trying to get our boys home from Vietnam. The peaceful, innocent country you idiots considered a “Commie Threat” what with your “Fraidycat”conservative brains.


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