Mark McHugh

Goldman Sachs – World’s Biggest Lemonade Stand

In Open Thread on Tuesday, April 27, 2010 at 11:40 pm

“…..what a great job they did. They structured like mad and traveled the world and worked their tails off to make some lemonade from some big old lemons.”

~Email from Goldman’s Daniel Sparks, 01/31/2007

The Wall Street mystique died today.  The “smartest guys on the street” gave us a glimpse of their “best and brightest”.  You know, those guys who made more money on the housing collapse than your extended family has made since Plymouth Rock.  Alpha males. 

But as the day unfolded it became clear that the key ingredients to success at Goldman is not understanding the difference between right and wrong, and being smug.  They seemed genuinely surprised they didn’t get the congressional lap dances we’ve all grown accustomed to seeing, and I think Goldie can make some more “lemonade” by wringing out their Armanis.

Watch Senator Carl Levin channel my old man:  

The 75 year-old Levin (who’s still on my shit list for re-confirming Bernanke) beat the living snot out of these spoiled brats all day long.   It was almost like living in a country with liberty and justice for all.




  1. Holy shit. I missed this part. I would have NEVER gone this far with my old man. If he got to this point, I’d have just given up. Though, he did sound like this when he coached us in baseball…

    I totally missed the “big ol lemons”. Your graphic is even more awesome knowing that. (Is Sparks retarded [that’s twice from me today, sorry for using the R-word again]? Looks like a lacrosse player.)

  2. And how bout that prick Birnbaum? He’s just staring off into the distance, like some kind of Nazi. Check these clowns out. In order, you’ve got:

    Daniel Sparks — the lacrosse player with the 103 IQ
    Birnbaum — a goddamm Nazi
    Swenson — the classic nerd (he probably didn’t eat breakfast this morning)
    friggin’ Fabrice “Fabulous Fab” Tourre

    What a show.

  3. I kept thinking, at some point, Levin’s gonna break out the belt!

    And yeah, what a bunch of flunkies! I kept thinking these jack-offs look like kids who got kicked out of the McDonald’s junior management training program. Seriously. It is disgusting to think that these panty wastes were paid tens of millions.

    What’s wrong with America? look no further….

  4. Gotta love thumbs-up Jesus.

    Very funny.

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